Postpartum life is a wild ride. 

During pregnancy, I was the happiest and most confident in my body & mind that I have been in well probably forever. My anxiety was pretty much non-existent and I enjoyed almost every second (potential future blog post?). However, all that came crashing down after my little one was born. The hormones, the emotions, everything is so all over the place and it truly is a rollercoaster (already planning a post about this).

I really do love being a Mam! And I felt that to be the best Mam I need to ensure that I am being good to myself. You can’t pour from an empty cup and all that. This starts with speaking positively about myself and not letting the negative thoughts, that so often come with postpartum, take over. This was such an important post for me to write, but it wasn’t easy - some days I am definitely kinder to myself than others. 

I hope that this post will remind you of some of the amazing things that you do as a Mother, but also as a reminder to me that I’m not doing too bad of a job!

1. Strength

Having a baby is challenging - both physically and mentally. And you don’t actually know how you will deal with it until it is already happening. Although I am definitely not the strongest (and this is definitely something that I’d like to work on, so please let me know your tips) my body has shown so much strength throughout pregnancy, birth and postpartum and I am so very proud of it! Although I did end up with what is basically repetitive strain injury in both of my arms due to bad holding positions during breastfeeding (which I find quite funny), but that is mostly all healed now.

Mentally it’s been tough, particularly as you don’t really get much chance to properly take care of yourself (sleep oh how I miss you!!). But somehow I have found the strength to power through and still look after my little man in the best way I can.

Even on my worst days, when he looks up at me and gives me his biggest smiles, I know that every second is worth it. I will continue to work on getting stronger and strive to give him the best childhood that I possibly can. 

2. Patience

I’ve always been quite a patient person, but it’s a whole new kettle of fish (is that the right saying?) when it comes to having a baby.

I was chatting to someone recently about how easy it is for us to take our everyday actions for granted. Tired? Get into bed and go to sleep. Hungry? Go and grab yourself a bite to eat. In pain? Take medication or go rest. We know what each feeling means and what we can do about it. But we had to learn how to do these things. So watching my little man learn how to do the everyday little things takes some patience (from the both of us), but it is so magical to see the world through his eyes.

I have also had to have patience with myself. I had an unplanned caesarean and the recovery wasn’t easy. I found it so frustrating not being able to do things that I wanted and having to rely on my partner for the most basic things. A c-section is major surgery, but it’s not really talked about in the same way as other surgery and there is very little guidance on recovery (although the current discourse is trying to state that it isn’t major surgery which is baffling!!). I had to be patient with my body and allow it to heal in its own way, in its own time. 

3. Resilience

This probably ties in with patience as some days can be really tough. I think the saying is “the days are long but the weeks are fast” and that is definitely true! Some days feel like groundhog day and I would like nothing more than to spend my day doing anything but listening to the same baby songs over and over again (if you have a little one who has/had any form of musical toy you know the kind of songs that I am talking about…). No matter how much I love my little one and how much joy it brings me to be his Mam; that doesn’t mean that it’s not hard.

I think that it is so important to be honest about the bad days as parenting isn’t easy and no one should feel bad or embarrassed for having those feelings! If we, as a society, were a little more open & honest about how we really feel and what we’re really dealing with, maybe less people would suffer in silence!

4. Stretch Marks

My weight has fluctuated my whole life so I have always had some stretch marks and I’ve never been bothered by them. My belly is now completely covered with stretch marks and that happened quite early on in my pregnancy. I’ve found it a little odd to look down at my belly and see them as I forget that they’re there. But they’re a positive reminder of everything that I went through during pregnancy and birth and I am very proud of my body for it!

They do sometimes go a bit red and angry looking, so I use a variety of moisturisers and oils to keep them hydrated, but I don’t focus on trying to reduce their appearance. 

5. Confidence

I’ve always struggled with my confidence and am just not the person to put myself out there. But, I don’t want that to impact my little boy. Therefore, I am trying to make a point of pushing myself out of my comfort zone and doing things I normally wouldn’t.

I recently went to a local cafe to meet a group of fellow new Mam’s and had such a lovely time. I hadn’t met them before and didn’t know much about them besides a few messages on WhatsApp. Usually this would fill me with anxiety and I wouldn’t enjoy it (no matter how much I would want to). However, chatting with other women in the same situation as me, with little ones a similar age as my own, gave me a sense of relief and made me feel less alone (I know that I am not alone, but motherhood can feel very lonely). 

It’s been forever since I’ve written anything, so I’m going to leave this here. I’m still a little rusty, but hopefully I’ll find my groove again as I have really missed writing!

If you know someone who has recently become a new Mother, who you think may need the reminder as to just how wonderful they are, please share it with them! This might just be the boost that they need. 

And if you are reading this as a new Mam - congratulations!! Some days will be super tough; but you’re not alone! If you fancy a chat, pop me an email or send me a DM on Instagram - us Mam’s need to support each other!

Cerys x

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